ANOTHER CHEATER CAUGHT IN THE ACT
As far as cheating goes, the shitty truth is that you can’t always trust your gut. Although being in touch with your intuition is generally an excellent idea—research shows that those hunches are often uncannily on point, and can help you make better life decisions—in the case of an unfaithful partner, it’s less reliable than you might think.
When people cheat—especially those who do it frequently—they’re likely to have practiced or even perfected certain techniques that help them keep their secrets. One of the most common: Gaslighting, the psychologist-favored term for table-turning on your suspicions, making you distrust your own instincts and observations. And that’s usually when the paranoia starts.
Generally speaking, men tend to be more able to separate and compartmentalize sex from love than women, who tend to view their lives more holistically, with all aspects interconnected and meaningful. So a sexual dalliance on the part of a husband can register as an especially deep betrayal. Learning that her partner cheated, especially if she is invested in him, if she loves him, if she believes in him, and if she is committed to him, will be emotionally devastating. There is no avoiding that, or her response.
Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.
After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.